Mother's Day-Sarcasm At It's Finest

Ughhh, Mother's Day. If it weren't for my own Mother-in-law sending me a card in the mail yesterday I'm not sure I would have remembered at all. My exact response when opening her card was, " Oh, F*#@!!! Yep, that's not even a common word used in my vocabulary, but I have lots of "mom's" to pay tribute to and some of those tributes will have to be mailed. So, as soon as I'm done typing, I'm off to go card shopping.

While I will have the sole responsibility of doing the Mother's Day shopping, my own husband and children should be doing the same for me. Now, in a perfect world I would not be receiving any flowers from my husband, nor would I be forced to solitary confinement in the morning waiting for the dreaded breakfast in bed. Don't pretend you like it. Breakfast made by a 9 and 13 year old can be...well, cold for starters. What, too harsh? Don't get me wrong, I adore the effort of  my children. They truly want nothing more than to pamper me. So Mother's Day turns out to be another day of mothering. Another day of putting our own wants and feelings aside to make our kids feel good. But that's our job, and I am accepting and do it knowingly.

However, back to the perfect world. {I can write about this freely because my husband and children don't read this!} I would love it if my husband or son could learn how to make coffee. Or if they just new what I liked from Starbucks, that would be nice. I like Grande Skinny Caramel Macchiato's. Hot in the morning,  iced in the afternoon.

If I am drinking regular coffee from home, I only like 1/2 and 1/2 in it. Just fill the coffee pot with water to the 3 line. Pour it in the back of the machine. Use a coffee filter, located in drawer below the machine and add two scoops of coffee. Coffee is right next to the machine in that canister marked "coffee." The scoop is in the canister. Press brew.

I don't like flowers from my husband. It's one of those, "I didn't have time or the desire to think of anything else and this was easy." It's such a cop-out gift. I know because it's what I've decided to do for my MIL this year! I'm not much of a breakfast eater. So with the coffee how about bring the Sunday paper? And how would I like to spend my day? ALONE! Doing some shopping maybe, or just in bed watching movies all day. Then we can meet up later for dinner like normal. You guys can cook if you want as long as I don't have to do the dishes. Or I'll even cook, but again, no dish duty. Hey kids, I would love it if maybe the house could be straightened up and your rooms too while your at it.

Last thing...I know it's a stretch but, we're still in the perfect world remember?

I want this:

It's a Cricut Cake Machine. They sell them at Michaels. They run about $220 I think.

It's the real world and I love you husband, and I love you children. I will love anything that you do for me, because in reality, it really is the thought that counts. Besides, you all give me the best gifts every single day. I am so grateful for my life and my family and I should be celebrating you!