Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Natural Consequences

Many years ago when Nash was little, my MIL sent me a book by John Rosemond. I read it and many others he wrote from cover to cover. Nash wasn't naughty, he was just always sidetracked. This made it hard for him to focus in school, to care about tying his shoes, to concentrate on homework, or to remember his lunch. The biggest bit of information I took from his books were to let your child suffer the natural consequences of their actions. If he doesn't do his homework he gets punished at school. If he gets punished at school of course he will then get punished at home. If he forgets his lunch, he will be hungry. If he forgets his jacket he will be cold.

Trust me, it didn't take more than a few times of these natural consequences before he was cured of his forgetful and non-chalant ways. It was harder for me I'm sure. Knowing that he is upset or seeing him cry and knowing I can just fix it in an instant is a hard urge for a mother to fight. But it was for his own good. He has become a very independent middle-schooler. [Even if he did forget his lunch today! It's only the second time this year. I won't take him the lunch, he'll have to figure something out, and he will.] Of course he still uses the list I've posted since kindergarten to help him get ready in the morning. Right down to "put on socks" and "brush your teeth" and "put your lunch in your backpack." Perhaps it's just habit to check the list now.

I didn't agree with everything in these books and I'm sure you won't either. But even if you can find one useful technique, method, or mantra, it's worth it for a happier family. I always say if I use one recipe regularly out of a cookbook, then it was worth the purchase :). I particularly like Ending The Homework Hassle. If I remember correctly, his books are a bit Christian influenced with bible references, so if that is a problem for you it's unfortunate because you'll be missing out on some great advice. But, I thought I would put it out there.


Megan said...

I have never thought about it like true! Once something bad happens naturally, they will learn to not let that happen again!

Sue said...

It's hard on mom at first, but you are so right that it works! Even works for adults:)